Monday, December 14, 2009

Banged knees and bad kids (really bad parents)....

I know retail sales are down and retailers are doing all they can to recover from this poor economy but *BLANK STARE* to ALL the stores for the reasons listed below.

Attention shoppers, I hope you are able bodied and never need to use a wheelchair. If you find that you are in a need of a set of indoor wheels you will discover that you will also require ice for the bruises you will get from banging your knees on random shelves strategically placed in the middle of aisles to encourage you to buy (and discourage you from moving in the event that you are unable to do so using two legs). You will also need an abnormal amount of patience for the large number of oblivious shoppers who appear to be sleep walking through the mall and never see you until they are literally on your lap (my sister should get tips for all the rides she has given). Finally, you will need a sister who is clever enough to eye spy the handicap ramp entrance and avoid running you into the endless curb surrounding the entrances. Of course you only get to look for the curb after you spot a handicap parking space, the ratio of which is 1 handicap space to every 100 non-handicap spaces. FYI stores, putting non-handicap spaces directly in front of your entrance and a row of handicap spaces on the side of the building (where there is no entrance) earns you my less famous *evil squint*


BONUS MALL MOMENTS: To every parent who unleashes your small children in the mall like God unleashed the plagues on the Egyptians *BLANK STARE* I first heard a crash and second saw two small bodies come tumbling from behind several clothing racks (which my sister and her wheelchair of course could not navigate around) wrapped around each other and screaming. The girls were so tangled up together I honestly could not testify under oath as to their ethnicity, they looked like one big blob. You want to know what I never saw though, their parents. I heard someone call them and saw them roll in the direction of the voice but I never actually saw them. And although I did not see the girls (at least I think it was two girls) again, I heard them screaming for the next 5 minutes (at which time I left the store). *Blank Stare* I later saw a little girl who could not have been any older than three walking five feet behind her mother in a mall swarming with shoppers. But here is what landed her on this blog, the mother had the crazyasheck nerve to be annoyed with the child for walking so slow…because apparently it never occurred to her to take the child’s hand, pick her up, put her in a stroller or do anything else which might have made sense. *Blank Stare* to you too lady.

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