Monday, November 30, 2009

"He Can Wear This"

My Godson's Mother gave me a white tuxedo complete with vest and bowtie and told me to put it on him on a Sunday morning in November... (*blank stare*)

Eenie Meenie Miinie Moe, Catch a Tiger By His Toe...

Tiger was going... (for a drive, golfing, to the Nike store????) out at 2:30 a.m. (*first blank stare*) in such a hurry that he crashed his car into a tree and a hydrant in his front yard.  Although there was no apparent damage to either the driver or passenger door of his vehicle and there were two other rear doors, four side windows and one windshield, his deeply concerned wife who also happened to be up and about at 2:30 a.m.very logically took a golf club and bashed out the rear get him out of the vehicle...(*second blank stare*)...

Friday, November 27, 2009

That's Your Family...

I became violently ill today with some kind of insane stomach virus.  My Mom calls to check on me while Black Friday shopping (see my previous posts for my feelings on this) and I explain my situation to her.  She repeats what I am saying and my Aunt (bless her heart) responds by yelling in the background "she better not be tryna blame it on the food" *blank stare*

Girl you gon think I invented...prayer???

My entire family gathered to pray over thanksgiving dinner yesterday.  When everything was quiet and the designated person begin to pray we could all hear music coming from another room.  It quickly became clear that my cousin had left the radio on in his room and while Granddad was thanking God for food and family, Trey Songz was repeating "girl you gon think I invented sex" *blank stare* to my cousin for not turning his radio off and to this whole situation.

Only My Grandfather

Sooo these posts almost did not make it because my grandfather told me the internet did not work on his computer.  When I told him I had fixed it and that it was now working, he told me it always worked, he just did not want me moving the stack of Christmas lights he had pulled out off the office chair (which I promptly moved so that I could sit down...since it is a chair and all).  Yes Granddad, you too are getting a *blank stare* today.

Granddad took an entire platter of cookies from the thanksgiving dinner dessert table and hid them...before dinner.  When I asked Granddad for some of the cookies he first refused to share and later brought a small plate out with three cookies for me, my grandmother and my sister... *blank stare*... even later he complained that I threw away the plate after it was empty instead of using the same one all blank stare, I'm just out done.

Road Trip

Lady in WalMart bathroom who did not want to wait for stall #1 or #2 and apparently found #3 unsuitable so used #4 which had no door and complained loudly the entire time she used it about the fact that there was no door...*blank stare*

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

I Am Not Entertained

To everyone who thinks Adam Lambert was banned from performing on GMA because he is gay and kissed a boy on stage but has not considered the fact that he simulated oral sex and screeched like a bird who found its head lodged in a trash compactor during his live performance on the AMA's *blank stare*

Pretty Rickey (including but not limited to their songs, fans, outfits, names, any and all webcasts, etc.) *blank stare* all around.

Omarosa is getting a dating show in 2010...*blank stare*

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Pre-Thanksgiving Blank Stare Moments

Sooo, Autozone has doorbuster sales on the day after Thanksgiving.... *blank stare* to anyone losing sleep to participate in this event. Why can't the coolant wait until Saturday?

Not the man on the corner of Woodward and Grand River selling turkeys out of a grocery cart (although I don't think he could beat Walmart's price) but *blank stare* to the people buying them... (It's Detroit and everyone needs a hustle so I can't knock turkeyman).

*Blank stare* to everyone jumping up at 3am to wait in line at stores on Friday not because they want to risk being trampled, shoved and seriously injured but because they don't realize the same sales are available online...

This just in...the Partner at my firm is leaving because he has to go get a Turkey...from a farm and it is going to take extra time for him to wait for them to kill it..... *blank stare* (Oh yes, I did refer him to the man on the corner with the grocery cart).